Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Twit Wit - Conversations With My Landlord...

It's been a while since I've updated this damn blog, and yet, my presence on Twitter is a big time consumer, so I figured a new segment might be a good way to kill two girls with one cup, so to speak. :P This segment, I'm going to call "Twit Wit" and try to do once weekly, just posting and recounting any and all highlights from my entertaining, and incredibly nerdy pastime. Anyway, a little preface is required to our first installment...

I've had some shitty landlords in my time, and while I'll say this guy's not the worst, he's most certainly the laziest. He cheaped out on everything he put in the house, bought our dishwasher used from some shady place, and it's broken three times, and he's still refused to get a new one. He just sends some dumb oaf over to poke at it until it works again, then a month or two later, it breaks down. We've asked him to take care of numerous things around our house in the last couple of months that have been problems since we moved into the place, and while he's recently started fixing a couple things we've been really bitching about, my bedroom door is still swelled up in the door frame, to where I can't fully close it. Now, I like to sleep naked, and I have roommates. Just because my door is always cracked open doesn't mean I should have to give up my rights to sleep in the raw, but for the sake of my roommates, I always feel at least a slight twinge of guilt. Not enough to stop mind you, but still... Been asking him to fix that fucking door since we moved in, and I've gotten nothing.

The worst part though, is every time he comes over, he's always got some kind of nit-pick about the way we keep house, and he's never hesitant to turn his thin little nose up and make "suggestions" about what we need to be doing to keep the place in order. I've about had it with the condesention and now I'm just having fun with him. Here's a conversation I just had with my snobby assed prick of a landlord when he came to pick up this week's rent check, as recounted through my Twitter page.

Landlord: "Thanks for the check, and can y'all rake your leaves when it stops raining?"

@LenNWallace *smiling thru hateful eyes* "Sure thing, and can you fix my bedroom door that I've asked you about since I moved in?"

Landlord: "Oh sure, I'll get right on that, and they'll be back to finish your yard sometime next week"

@LenNWallace: *smiling thru even more hateful eyes* "Thanks! Oh, and my book's coming out next week! I'd appreciate if you bought a copy!

Landlord: *dismissive, nervous chuckle* "Heh... Remind me next week."

@LenNWallace *creepy ominous tone as he turns and walks away* "Oh, I will... Be seeing you!"

The idea for the Love Buzz plug was Joe Eisma's brilliant idea, and I think it worked pretty well, so big props to him.


Anonymous said...

Great idear for a regular segment. Pleez keep to it.

And tell your landlord to choke. on. pubes.

0becomingX said...

lol i've seen this before it's so funny!